Prepending further notice: I have not been back to this project for a few months, and I don’t know when I’ll get back to it. Everyone’s money has been refunded, and I’ll probably do something very different when I get my mind back on this book. –GSS
Cathleen had plans to take her mother to a music recital Sunday afternoon, but I had plans of my own for a very-quick quickie. I got my way, because I can make a quickie very quick indeed.
How quick? Thirty seconds, start to finish — and Cathy came twice. Not fast enough for you? The contractions for the second orgasm had started by the seventh second, and we spent the rest of the time kissing and cuddling — and making sure my best-beloved did not trip over into continuous-orgasm mode. That would have been a lot of fun, but she was a girl on the run.
We’ve been surfing a red-pill weekend for coming on two weeks now, and we’ve learned a lot about making immaculate love — as a side-effect of making a lot of immaculate love. The come-hither massage is the cherry on the sundae, but there is a lot we have discovered, in these two weeks and in all our years together, that you might want to study up on.
Like what? A nearly-instantaneous female orgasm is easy to achieve, as are multiple orgasms. Best news of all, getting to a state of continuous orgasms, with each new orgasm over-taking the last, is an attainable ecstasy. All it takes are the two things that have always been missing from the marital bed: Theory and practice.
Here’s what happened Sunday: Cathleen was getting dressed as I was getting out of the shower. I stopped her to snuggle with me, because I can never get enough of her. I persuaded her to drop her drawers and lay down on the bed. I pumped about half-an-inch of Maximus lubricant onto my fingers and sat down beside her. I pulled one of her legs over and behind my shoulder — this for a number of reasons we can get to later. Only then did I touch her vulva, and this is when the clock starts.
I smeared the lube on her labia and clitoris and took a couple of quick dips inside her with my fingertips to spread the lubricant around. And then I took the plunge, shoving two fingers inside her, curving upward to find her G-spot. I played there briefly, tormenting her G-spot from the inside at the same time that I was tormenting her clitoris from the outside with my thumb.
When her feet started to curl up like a monkey’s fists, I knew she was ready, so I did the come-hither move and she came like dawn over the ocean. This was about five seconds after I had first touched her. I went back to her G-spot, then did the come-hither massage a second time at about the seventh second. She came like herald trumpets, her hips catapulting upward, and I knew that one more come-hither stroke would launch her into a continuous orgasmic state that could easily last half-an-hour, if we worked at it.
Instead, I massaged her G-spot slowly and gently as I kissed her and whispered to her how much I love her. We cuddled like that for another twenty seconds as the contractions from her orgasms subsided. Then she got up — a little wobbly, but fully functional — and finished getting dressed.
Do the math: Instantaneous orgasms? Check. Multiple orgasms? Check. Continuous orgasms? Not quite, but we could have been there by the tenth second of foreplay, if we had had the time to play. We could have set up a standing wave in her vaginal muscles, then sustained it with continuous stimulation, with her finishing only when she was completely exhausted — by that time babbling incoherently and unable to stand up without help. This is what the female orgasm can be — and should be.
Do the math again: As many as twenty-five percent of women never reach orgasm. As many as eighty percent fake orgasm at least some of the time. Very few women achieve multiple orgasms, and I would bet that fewer than ten in a thousand can wrap their minds around the idea of coming continuously. And yet all of this should be easily attainable by any normal, healthy woman. All she has to do is learn how.
She can experience this kind of immaculate, all-but-angelifying love-making in their marriage, and so can her partner. It’s all just a matter of mastering the theory and putting it into practice. There is a complicating factor, in that the theory is less about strategy or procedure or technique and more about philosophy. But on the plus side, that philosophy will improve your life everywhere you apply it, not just in the bedroom.
And so this is an introduction to this book, but it is also the introduction to a series of books I plan to write about philosophy. And taking account that philosophy is often seen as the calves liver of the intellectual feast, it makes a certain kind of sense to me to start our dinner with dessert. I plan to be very serious about everything, but I hope you are having too much fun to notice that.
What qualifies me to opine on the subject of immaculate love-making? Nothing, I suppose. We are an ordinary middle-aged, middle-class, middle-American couple. I make my living as a real estate broker, I fancy myself a philosopher, but my actual life’s work, which pays me nothing and which I don’t do enough, is writing fiction. I am a novelist — good for nothing except crafting elaborate artifacts of the mind.
But guess what? By my own standards, I am uniquely qualified. Psychologists and biologists and evolutionary scientists make pronouncements about sex that seem absurd to me — even more absurd that the daft claims made by the theologians, philosophers, stand-up comedians, rap poets, pornographers and journalists. Yet I have nothing to bring to the table except my curiosity, my imagination and my yearning for a better, clearer understanding of how best to live my life.
How qualified am I really? I can make my wife come twice in seven seconds. She can put me into an orgiastic frenzy for seventy hours at a stretch. Our love for each other is stronger every day, and we are each of us better people every day because of the love we make together. Making immaculate love will bring you many soul-enriching orgasms, but it will help both of you to enrich your own and each other’s souls in every way you can think of.
I’m not promising you a better time in bed. I’m promising you a better life together — cleaner and simpler, more enduringly perfect and more heart-brimmingly beautiful. If the two of you learn to make love this way, the love you make together can make both of your lives infinitely better.
Am I promising too much? Do the math: Two orgasms. Seven seconds.
But you can’t come that fast? You can and you will, much faster than you ever imagined. But even if you took a hundred times longer than my Cathleen, you’d still be where she was in less than eight minutes — a quickie by definition.
But aren’t we being crudely exhibitionistic? I should hope not. We actually do like to play out in the world — and we’ll get to that — but not where anyone else can see. But: I don’t know how to talk to you about immaculate love-making without actually talking about it. If you can’t stand to read about it, run away. If you are shocked to discover that my wife and I have orgasms — dang! Meanwhile, I’m going to do the job I came to do.
Half of your life-long indoctrination about love-making consists of not talking about sex, where the other half is composed of talking about it only as an indulgence in vice — if not dirty, then at best a shameful secret. Even when making love is celebrated as a virtue, the underlying premises revert back to one argument or the other — ultimately love without sex or sex without love.
I think all of that is wrong. Your love-making is not all it should be because your marriage is not all it should be because your life is not all it should be because your own relationship with your self is not all it should be and all of this is because you go through life insisting to yourself that you can have the bread or you can have the jam but you can’t have both. And all of that is simply factually wrong, a comically benign error of knowledge, easily corrected.
Your marriage is the bread of your life, the food you must have to survive. But romantic love is the jam on that bread, and expressing that love with with an uncontained ardor is the food of both your souls. You can make immaculate love together because your love and your lives together are about nothing but the shared pursuit of the very best of human values. Immaculate love-making is the fullest possible expression of everything you are together, the heaven you hoped always to find in each other’s arms.
I will have delivered on my promises to you when the two of you are delivering on every promise you made to each other at your wedding — and on your wedding night. I know this can be done, because we’re doing it. I know this life can be won, because we’re living it. And I know you can have everything we have, if you are willing to learn what we know.
So here’s my question for you: How much would you pay? This is going to be an eBook — in PDF form for now — and it is for sale on a pre-release basis. I believe these ideas are worth paying for. If you agree, the price for the finished product will never be lower than it is right now. I plan to raise the price every time I write here about the book, so you will never have the opportunity to learn how to do the come-hither massage, along with everything else I have to teach, for less money than you can today.
The book is entitled Come Hither, Darling: Making Immaculate Love. I expect to have books to ship by April 15th.
How can you be sure I will deliver on every promise I’ve made you? That’s my Cathleen in the photo, gracing the universe with the most compellingly perfect expression of the idea of Splendor. In addition to every other assurance I could make to you, I will never do anything to cost me that woman’s love. Living up to you is easy. Living up to her is what makes me whole…