Do you want to experience a total commitment to what you’re doing while you’re doing it? Have an orgasm.
Do you want to live completely for your own values? Have an orgasm.
Men: Do you want to pioneer previously undiscovered territory in your marriage? Give your wife an orgasm — for an hour.
This is a doable proposition. You just have to learn how — both of you.
The good news for her? All she has to learn is how to get out of her own way — which gets easier and easier the greater her commitment, so to speak.
But you, Mister Man, have some learning to do. If y’all are like most couples, you’re weak on theory, strong on routine. Men’s Health magazine has some great ideas for you to explore. I’ve summarized them below, but do read the whole article: The advice they give is practical and detailed, a perfect how-to for a can-do guy like you.
I wanted to highlight this:
“As he’s thrusting, my guy presses hard with his hand right below my belly button. I have the most incredible orgasms.”
This is G-spot play, and it is really worth learning how to do. You can use your penis or your fingers or a toy to confront the G-spot from the inside. On the outside, your hand should be below the navel but just above the pubic bone. All you’re really doing is taking space away from your interior attack, pressing more of her nerve-ravaged flesh into your persistent obstruction. Mind how hard you press at first. You’ll both figure out what hurts best in short order, if you’re paying attention.
Here are the 15 tips from Men’s Health, in summary form. My advice: Select, copy, paste, print and keep the print-out in your nightstand. When she’s in the bathroom adorning herself, you can look for something new to add to your praxis. There are a million other ideas out there, and there is nothing sexier in a man — when his wife is measuring his sex appeal — than a sincere commitment to getting better at helping her achieve orgasm. Read, learn, mark and inwardly digest — to your immense benefit:
- “When I’m about to climax during oral sex, my husband flicks his tongue really fast along the length of my clitoris. A few seconds of that, and walls shake.”
- “I love it when my man makes circles around my breasts with his finger or tongue before coming in for a nipple landing.”
- “All of a sudden, without warning, my guy stops midthrust. Then he goes super slow, entering me inch by inch for a few minutes. It sets me off like nothing else!”
- “Before we make love, my husband often stands in front of me after I’ve undressed and holds his fingertips right above my skin. He moves his hands all the way up and down my body. The sensation is unreal.”
- “I love it when my boyfriend hums while giving me oral sex. And when he follows it up with very light finger taps, I detonate.”
- “As he’s thrusting, my guy presses hard with his hand right below my belly button. I have the most incredible orgasms.”
- “My boyfriend has this amazing thing he does on my nipples, private parts, and neck: He licks a small area and then blows on the wet patch. It creates these sexy tingles down my spine.”
- “I love it when my man lightly bites my nipples while touching me down below. There’s something about the combination that drives me crazy with pleasure.”
- “One night my husband and I were fooling around on the La-Z-Boy and he pulled up a footstool and knelt as I lay on the chair. Then he used the rocking of the recliner to help him thrust. Something about the back-and-forth motion heightened every sensation.”
- “When we’re in the missionary position, my husband gets up high so his hips are above mine and enters me at a downward angle very, very slowly. Often he pauses midthrust, and I have the most over-the-top orgasms.”
- “When my husband gives me oral sex, he also enlists his finger to provide firm pressure deep inside. The combination feels unbelievably good.”
- “I was with this guy who would pucker up his lips and seal them around my nipple. Then he’d alternately inhale and create a vacuum and exhale to put pressure on my breast. It was the most amazing feeling.”
- “My boyfriend puts me in orbit when he gives me oral sex. It’s not his technique per se, or some quirky aspect of his tongue that has me mesmerized — it’s the way he seems to savor every minute of it.”
- “My boyfriend turned me crosswise on the bed the other night so that my head fell over the edge. I thought he was nuts — until I had my biggest orgasm ever.”
- “My man puts a pillow under my butt before we get going in the missionary position. It tips me in such a way that every thrust feels a million times better and I climax very quickly.”
Now here’s the best news: If you learn how to make your wife come for an hour at a time — which implies putting in the practice, as well as mastering the theory — your own orgasms will be massively better, just as a consequence of making that effort.
More fun for her will be more fun for you, in most cases, but even when you are using only your hands or your mouth or a toy to play with her, she’s still your Personal Porn Star in those moments. All of this very sexy play will make you more and more aroused. Since, for men, the quality of the orgasm is closely correlated to the quantity of ejaculate, the more you play with her before you let her finish you, the better your orgasm is going to be.
This is the perfect justice of true capitalism in action: Mutually-voluntary trade in pursuit of mutual profit, with the synergy of the trade creating that mutual profit. Do you want to have the best orgasm of your life? Give her the best orgasms of her life. Now that’s give-to-get!
Even better: You can do this whenever you have time. The whole thing: Each of you can have your best-ever orgasm with a high degree of frequency, perhaps as often as once a week, on average, if you apply yourselves. You’ll get better at the things you’re doing — usus est magister optimus — but you will also be developing the muscles that make better orgasms attainable.
There’s more: We are what we habitually do, and when the two of you get in the habit of making each other ecstatic, you’ll find yourself making each other happier in everything you do. There will always be sex play going on between you, and this will manifest itself in hundreds of delightful ways. The love and devotion she seeks first in your marriage finds its most joyous expression in the continual love-making flowing between you in the time you spend together.
Every effort you make at getting better at making love will make your love-making and your marriage better — infinitely better, going forward indefinitely in time.
Isn’t that wonderful? You’ve always thought sex was important to you. It might have been your reason for getting married. And while sex can’t make a bad marriage good, getting good at sex will make a good marriage great — better and better every day.
It’s Saturday night, dude. What are you doing to live up to your marriage? What are you doing to win your wife’s devotion — and to show her yours? What are you doing to earn your orgasm?